this sucks lah.
really, really sucks.
i have so many thoughts swimming around my head, and it just wont cease.
i cant tell anyone. no one will listen. cause its very demented and so deranged that it would make you go mad.
hah.
piled with cramps, and the fact that im injecting fucking black chocolates into myself,
baaaaadbaaaaaaad.
plus im dead bored.
looks like i'l keep blogging.
and oh my fucking goodness, i restarted my computer a few times today.
happened last time too - but it was worse.
fuck. i think really got major virus. aah.
updated my wishes-list! =D
haha. kkay. wishlist.
and also, im feeling veery friend-less.
pity me lah come on. no one cares nowadays.
the ones i want to care for me just dont care.
im gonna be very emotional in this post.
fuck i tell you. FUCK. people just keep moving in and out of my life SO QUICKLY.
okay lah. it just seems like 6 months, and they move on.
im predicting there will be another move on.
im so gonna be friend-less next year.
i learnt this: you cannot always depend on your friends lor.
i no love, then go for friends. i depended too much on them, i guess.
but theres always this long story ringing in my head about how love is shit and friends is gold.
whatever.
its bullshit.
a few people here and there just sucks.
i know i suck too. blah.
i just hate that feeling that you're next. you're the next one who's gonna leave me.
then i'll be left with one person.
and then im afraid she'll leave too.
and then i have no one.
only you all are the closest, you know that?
you got me caught in this reverie with you all, and i cant get along with the others.
i cant stand everyone.
but i dont want to lose everyone.
now, i wish i was 3 years old still. clinging onto my maid and asking for sweets. asking her questions and playing with her.
being so open towards my family.
i wish i could remember it still. cause i only have a memory of me holding onto my maid's hand, walking downstairs in my pajamas. to where, i dont know.
thinking back, all my maids were the best friends on earth. though one would give me her occasional "lightning" slap.
if i could, i would've given you the finger treatment.
if i could, i would've told you to FUCK OFF.
if i could, i would've bashed you up.
if i could, i would've torn you into pieces.
if i could, i would've ran away from you. you. you. you. you. you..
11:15 PM