im feeling so emo now, listening to "Blind by Lifehouse" over & over again.
i was talking to some people just now, heard some things.
it just saddens me,
why my life is so fucked up.
i just wanted it to be successful, but i don't know whats stopping me from helping it.
probably because of what yongwei said, that if i help it too much, it will depend on me.
i mean, i've helped it like, twice?
i don't wanna do it again. its just so.. hard. it just keeps giving me pressure.
im not a very heavy responsible-r person.
if you push me too hard, i just don't wanna do it. but because of it, & it's status, i have to help it.
& today, another it looked, changed. & like, wow, i think im starting to- god, no no no. i wont. i cant mann! damn it. i really hate this feeling. why must now then- GRARRRH!
& i cant help it but admit that, im jealous, jealous when it said that it find it cute.
im just so damn confused, afraid, insecure.
my friendships, lovelife, & family.
IT ALL SUCKS!
i feel like dying. but i dont feel like dying.
i feel so painful inside..
i want someone to talk to, whom i can give all my trust to. someone who understands me very well. someone who wont hurt me.
but. i guess there's no such person.
1:23 AM
